© everlark

ohhenryd:

thatpunnyguy:

snazziest:

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am



hauntumn:

I wanna do dirty stuff with u like farming



Tried taking a selfie with my puppy but he sneak attack licked me right as I took the photo #puppygram #kisses #love #happy

Tried taking a selfie with my puppy but he sneak attack licked me right as I took the photo #puppygram #kisses #love #happy

— tagged as: #love #kisses #puppygram #happy #my face #me #personal




I want to disappear forever

— tagged as: #bye


s-nowleopard whispered seductively,
If that is my future I swear I'll be the happiest human alive

I hope it ends up as your future!





disagreed:

do actors ever cringe at their own voice on tv





  • me to a white person: what's your ethnicity
  • white person: i'm 1/4 vanilla bean, 2 cups of skim milk, 3 tablespoons of tapioca, 1 teaspoon of corn starch etc


the-goddamazon:

strawberryalien:

kidzbop is gonna be like “my anaconda don’t want none unless u like fun, hun!!”

"oh my gosh. look at her heart!"

SHIT



dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you



prongsmydeer:

Harry Potter AU where someone sees Harry in his cousin’s over-sized clothing with his underfed body and hears him casually mention the cupboard in which he sleeps and calls the fucking police



unpopuler:

people who can open cereal boxes perfectly are not to be trusted 



follovved:

blazekinn:

follovved:

i may be ugly and untalented

but…?

thats all